Pollywog in a Bog

My kids' new favorite song, from one of my favorite bands.

Theology of the Bawdy: Amy, Will You Let Me

Here's a little salt to go with the sweet of the last post...

Amy and I have been watching (and loving) the Sharpe videos starring Sean Bean as Richard Sharpe, a British soldier fighting in the Napoleonic Wars.

One of the best parts of the series is the music. Much of the music is composed and sung by Rifleman Dan Hagman, played by British folk singer John Tams. Tams' voice is amazing and the Napoleonic-era folk songs in the videos are wonderful. A song I particularly liked hearing was "The Spanish Merchant's Daughter" (sometimes called "No, John, No"). It's a bawdy song and I found it charming--so charming that I decided to try my hand at writing my own. What follows is what I came up with.

Imagine it being sung back and forth like "There's a Hole in the Bucket". I'll try to record this one later, too.

p.s. It's not really all that bawdy, but sing it to the tune of Tantum Ergo if you long for the thrill of scandal...

Amy, Will You Let Me?

Robert: See that girl there? Her name’s Amy—
She looks nice in panty hose.
I would like to have a look-see
Just how high them hoses goes.

Oh, Amy will you let me
see how high them hoses goes?

Amy: Yes, my Love, on one provision—
You must do just what I say.
Robert: But of course, dear. What’s my mission?
Amy: Wait until our wedding day.

Oh, Robert, patient Robert,
Wait until our wedding day.

Robert: Surely, Love you must be teasing—
what an unkind thing to speak!
Can you not just once appease me?
I will marry you next week.

Oh, Amy, will you let me?
I will marry you next week.

Amy: Since, my Love, you asked so sweetly,
You can see how high they go.
I’ll remove my hose completely--
Put them on and you will know!

Oh, Robert, patient Robert
Put them on and you will know.

Theology of the Body: Max's Song

I wrote a song this morning for my son, Max.

I wanted to express the idea that he is an unmitigated blessing to our family and that he is the result of our fruitful love. He's an absolute delight and everybody's favorite. The first two verses are sung to him as if he still in the womb. Verse three is after he's been born.

The "crying and the laughter" mentioned in the second verse is a reference to this. Olivia ("Ala" to Max) has since gotten over the fact that he's not a girl and Joseph is still especially fond of him because sisters can be wearying.

I'll put up a recording here once I figure out how to do it.

Max's Song

Verse 1:
Baby, do you know
That you are something special?
Even if you don’t,
I’m here to tell you truly,
That you are being waited
for with eagerness and joy,
The long anticipated
baby brother for our boy.

Chorus:
You were made by Love,
Conceived in love,
You were made for love,
We love you, Boy

You were made by Love,
Made for love,
And we welcome you with joy.

Verse 2:

Baby, can you hear
The crying and the laughter?
Just wait till you appear—
It’s silence you’ll be after.
The home you’re coming into
Is filled with kids and toys,
It’ll take some getting used to
Though, especially the noise.

Chorus

Verse 3:
Baby, can you see
Now that we’re together,
Now that you are here we
All love a little better?
You’re bringing out the best in us
It’s such a great surprise
To see our family’s happiness
Increase before our eyes.

Chorus

Help Me Write a Song

I started writing a song this morning when Sophia was complaining about a stain on her pants. Basically, I told her that nobody really cares about her pants--the world is too narsissistic to notice your pimple. Anyway, I ad libbed something great and, unfortunately, unrepeatable. So, I'm enlisting your help. I'll give you the verses I remember and the chorus (which can be modified) and you go at it.

The main thing I want to capture is that the world is upside down. Right now I'm approaching it as a song that gives advice on how to live in our world from different people's perspectives. But there's also the voice of reason. Help me figure it out.

FYI, the song is no longer for Sophia ( it's playing out too mature for her). At some point I want to work in a line about humanity entering an insanity plea at the Last Judgment.

Welcome to the World You Live In
Chorus:
Welcome to the world you live in
it's broken, but at least it's spinning
we're stuck with it, there are no trade-ins
so we make due, with what we've got

The Workaholic
You've got to wake in the morning
When the neighborhood is still snoring
If you want to get ahead,
get started while your friends are in bed

The secret to increase your pay,
is only to work half a day:
12 hours and then you can play
with the toys from the sweat of your face

CHORUS

The Voice
Look at the folks in all these homes-es
They're trying to keep up with the Jones-es
they're (jokes/living dead), and they'll soon be bones-es
That's not the life for you

CHORUS

The Sexual Revolutioniary
My advice? If it feels good do it.
Don't think twice, if you want to, screw it
Hey, I don't think that Eve blew it,
She was bold. She made a choice.

Who says there's a master plan
that requires me to keep a man?
I'm happy just the way I am
go to hell if you think that I'm sad

CHORUS

The Voice
We give the Pill to all our women,
They're equal now, but who we kiddin?
Their "partners" know they can bed 'em and leave 'em
Alone and bitter and used.

We worship youth, but we kill our babies,
deny the truth and embrace the maybes,
Our sainted dead, we treat like crazies,
meanwhile the War rages on.



CHORUS

That's what I have so far. Feel free to suggest other advice-givers and more from the Voice. In my head it's a little Jamaican-sounding so if that helps, use it.

Took my lady to a show...

You, too should go.

Happy Birthday to Amy

I love my wife. Love her. (That's her on the left.)

She's great. She's greater than great--she's super great.

She makes me feel like a s'more. She's just terrific.

Today is her birthday so I bought her the song below on iTunes. Everyone in the whole wide world knows it from the Mac commercials. There are many things to like about the song, but I like it because it's like Amy--delightful and it makes you smile when you think of it.

I dare you not to smile when you hear this song or when you think of Amy. It can't be done.