Happy Fother's Day

Below is a scan of the "Fother's Day" card Francesca gave to my grandfather (her Grand Pepere). How would you like to get a card like this one?

Everybody (except my grandfather and Francesca) thought this was hilarious.

Poor girl, she was just trying to be sweet.

Mother's Day

My mother-in-law doesn't like Mother's Day. I think she resents the fact that the greeting card industry has made it too easy to neglect one's mother for 364 days of the year and still feel good about yourself as long--as you buy mom a box of chocolates, brunch, and, of course, a greeting card on one Sunday in May. I think she has a point.

Honoring one's mother and father is not optional. It's a full time gig. And, as unpleasant and difficult as it can be, we've got to do it. In fact, we're commanded to do it. So the notion that we can neglect our parents all year and then make good on one particular day seems pretty feeble to me. I don't have time to explore the reasons for this mindset--we can also see it at work in CAPE Catholics* and dying Rockafellers--but I'll say I think it's indicative of a particularly American, materialistic view of the world, which is a species of the sin of presumption.

I resent Mother's Day because it's just another way the Market tries to sell you something you can, and should, do for free. It smacks of formula companies selling their product to third world mothers.

BUT, there's something to be said for feast days and it should be obvious that that's what Mother's Day is--a secular feast day. Just as the therapist's couch replaced the confessional, Mother's Day is an attempt to fill the void in our lives from not having feast days. In a sense, it's a move in the right direction. It demonstrates our profound need for ritual and celebration. At our house, we're always inventing reasons to feast. We celebrate birthdays, baptismal days, saints days, the dogs' birthdays, whatever. It's wonderful; it gives the kids a sense of the gratuitousness of the world.

I have to go now...I'll try to revisit this topic again. Meanwhile, post some comments, start a discussion.

Peace!

*Christmas Ash Wednesday Palm Sunday Easter

Gemini Trumps Cancer

This is so unbelievably cool.

This might save your marriage.

Priceless.

The Dangers of Education

Well, it's official: my daughter Olivia can read. Normally, this would be a cause for celebration, but it really puts a damper on my "parenting" style.

What I mean is that, with this development, my wife and I can no longer spell secret messages to each other in front of our middle child. Now, only the baby and Annamaria remain clueless.

Yesterday, Joseph was busy being a boy at the dinner table and he messed up the cushion on the window seat. This cushion was something that Amy wanted for a long time and now that we finally have it, it gets quite a bit of attention from the mistress of the house.

"Don't bend the cushion!"
"Don't hold your sandwich over the cushion!"
"Don't walk on the cushion with your dirty feet, I just cleaned it!"

You get the idea.

Well, last night Papi had the midkids--Joe and Liv--while Mama took the bookends--Sophia, Annamaria, and Max--to Sophia's audition (The Princess and the Pea, if you're tracking). Anyway, after dinner I noticed that the cushion had somehow found it's way under the table.

I announced to Joseph that Mama was going to be "P-I-S-S-E-D Off" if she came home and saw that. Because he's a good boy and loves his Mama (we all do), he fixed it immediately.

That's when I heard what I thought was Olivia spitting out a hair or something.

"Puh...puh...puh..."
"Liva, are you okay?"
"ih...ih...ih...ssss...ssss..."

Oh, hell.

"eh...eh...eh...duh...duh. PISSED!! Papi, what does 'pissed' mean?"
"It means Papi's in trouble."

In my defense, the "P-I-S-S-E-D Off" line is not how I usually speak in front of my kids; it's a quote from a song composed by one of my favorite singers, Tonio K.

Tonio K. is a brilliant satirical lyricist who sings about the twistedness of love after the Fall of Man. I've learned more about true love from him than probably any other influence in my life (sadly, including Popes). Trouble is, he used to have a potty mouth, and his song H-A-T-R-E-D (from which Liva's new vocabulary word was plucked) is peppered with a number of expletives. (It's a breakup song, he was drunk when he recorded it, etc., etc.) It's also hilarious. So I sing it. And quote parts of it. In front of my newly literate daughter.

So, for those of you that care about our Domestic Safari, some of the cubs are learining new tricks and one of the gameskeepers is in the dog house.